Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Restless

        It's so easy for me to get and be restless. It's hard to be patient and not get caught up in what I want in the future. Even just past this coming December. I just want to be done with this school year because then I can be a licensed social worker and can travel the world doing what I love, helping with adoption stories. A very long chapter in my life is almost done. I am so close to being done with my Bachelor's, I can almost taste it, I am going for my Master's afterward though, so being done with school is not as close as I wish it were. God is sufficient though. He's really been teaching me patience, of course, He's always teaching me this. I get so restless, especially when I'm not doing school. I get restless, when I look at mission trips and jobs overseas, I just want to pack up my bags, hop on a plane and go. I read recently the definition of wanderlust and it definitely defines my heart at this point in my life. Wanderlust is defined as "a strong desire or urge to wander or travel or explore the world". When I read that definition, it came to my realization that that is most definitely me. God gave me a heart for travel and for missions and for service to Him and orphans. I feel like He wouldn't give me that if I am not supposed to use it. Not everyone has a love to travel, not everyone has a love for missions, and not everyone has a love for orphans and adoption, but I do. I can act upon this love and glorify God through it all. 
        I plan on after getting my Master's to move to Europe for a few years and work in international adoption. I want to be one of the people who can introduce parents to their children for the first time. I want to be one of the people who can place, encourage, and enable people to adopt. Our God is so big, and I believe that He will make this happen. After living overseas for several years, I plan on, with the experience gained in international adoption, to open my own orphanage here in the states. I have so many plans and dreams for this place, I am so excited about it! There's not only an orphanage in the future, there's a therapeutic riding center for veterans which is also a rescue center for the horses, there's a camp for at risk children, there's a ranch, there's all sorts of stuff in this huge dream God has given me. I have so many people I want to partner with so we can make this dream a reality. However, for right now, I feel stuck, I feel restless. I've always been a big dreamer, and it's something my parents have always encouraged me it. I have big dreams, but I really believe God gave them to me for a reason. He has a huge plan, and I am so excited to see where it goes. This path He has me on, it's exciting, it's scary, it's going to be very trying. I trust Him. He knows what He's doing. So I sit here restless, I remember that He is in control. He has always been in control. I just have to seek the Kingdom first, everything else will always be up to Him. We serve a big and awesome God y'all. I could never describe Him fully because He is indescribable. It would be really scary if we could define God, He will always be an amazing mystery. I leave you with this song by For King and Country: 

Fix My Eyes

Hit rewind
Click delete
Stand face to face with the younger me
All of the mistakes
All of the heartbreaks
Here's what I'd do differently

I'd Love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on You
On You

I learned the lines and talked the talk
'cuz the road less traveled was hard to walk
It takes a soldier
who knows his orders
To walk the walk I'm supposed to walk

Love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on You
On You

The things of Earth are dimming
In the light of Your glory and grace
I'll set my sights upon Heaven
I'm fixing my eyes on you
Love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on You
On You

Fix my eyes
On you




        Let's fix our eyes on Him. Let's keep what's important as the center in our lives. Let's focus on what's really important. The things of this earth are dimming, they are not important. Focus on the Kingdom. Let's live our lives for Him and Him alone. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" Matthew 6:33 KJV. 


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